My fascination with Gen Z culture knows no bounds. I am obsessed with these fresh-faced weirdos. They don’t binge-drink, they socialise in video games, they own little fridges solely for skincare. Most intriguing is that they seem to revel in the aesthetic-ification of the ordinary, turning even the dullest of activities into viral content. Like modern-day Rumpelstiltskins, spinning straw into gold.

Nothing is too dreary. In fact, the drearier the better. Eating cheese slices in your pants watching Tipping Point on catch-up can be shared on social media as a self-care moment. But the latest Gen Z mundanity to trend is “having a normal job”. Yep, simply “getting up and going to work” is now a TikTok sensation. Morning routines are meticulously documented, time-stamped, and labeled with hashtags such as #9ToThrive and #CorporateGirly.

For example, a typical montage might go something like this: 7.44am “Grab an oat milk latte” (close-up of a coffee cup). 7.50am “Oh no! Can’t find my work pass” (chaotic bag rummaging). 7.55am “Phew! Made it in” (selfie in a lift giving a peace sign). 8:00am “Time for some senior data analysing!” (Taps rapidly on a keyboard).

Readers, trust me when I tell you – this drivel will get thousands of likes. It’s a brave new world for sure. Never one to be left behind, I’m sharing my own #GRWM (Get Ready With Me) routine. An entirely functional drudge with zero aspiration that should go down a storm.

My #DIL (day in the life) is the same every morning. From around 6:30am onwards Maggie, my cat, launches her daily attack, repeatedly jumping on my head and biting my hair. I thwart her by pulling the duvet over my face. She waits patiently knowing in approximately three minutes I’ll resurface for air, and immediately pounces again.

We repeat the pattern of abuse until 7am when my alarm goes off. We carry on this cycle of madness until 7.28am when I finally get up, leaving myself exactly 10 minutes to get out the door and catch my train.

From here on, the pace picks up. 7.29am: Kettle on, feed cat. Enjoy a nanosecond of peace when the miaowing stops. 7.30am: Brush teeth, moisturise, de-bristle chin, remind myself I must dye my roots. 7.31am: Make tea in my travel cup. Strong English Breakfast, dash of skimmed, no sugar. 7.32am: Assemble my #OOTD (office outfit of the day) a process entirely devoid of creativity.

As my own personal despot, I enforce a strict uniform to cut out fashion faff. Trousers (grey or light grey), thermal Uniqlo top and jumper (all weathers).

7.35am: Hastily apply make-up in bid to look less like the knackered peri-menopausal harridan I am, and more like a peri-menopausal harridan who has had eight hours sleep. 7.38am: Last checks: jacket, scarf (all weathers) bag, tea, keys, work pass. And off I go…

Told you. Painfully average. Clearly, I’m going to be a star!